Whatever Things Are True: the Good, the Bad and the Beautiful in the World of International Adoption

My Latest Post at Adoptive Families Circle

 

I write a more personal blog for Adoptive Families Circle called Be Bold or Go Home that focuses on parenting issues. If you're interested, you can take a look via the link.

Farewell, Fire Truck: Milestones of Becoming a Family.

Upcoming Documentary, "Dark Girls," Looks Like a Must See for Parents of African Children

Have you heard about the new documentary "Dark Girls" yet? The film, directed by Bill Duke and D. Chansinn Berry,  is set to premier at Nashville's  International Black Film Festival in October. "Dark Girls" asks a question that verges on the taboo: "Is life different for women who are darker than most?"

As the adoptive mother of a "dark girl" from Ethiopia, that grabbed my attention. Based on the trailer, it's clear that the answer is a heartbreaking yes. The clip reveals the color-ism that persists within the Black community; it's unclear if the film will also describe dark-skinned women experiencing negative reactions from  whites and other non-African groups with respect to their color. In the trailer, one woman sadly mentions that whites often tell her she has beautiful skin, but that she feels rejected by her "own people."

 

 

Russia and US Sign New Adoption Agreement

 

Russia and the United States signed a new adoption agreement this week after months of diplomatic discussion in the wake of the shocking Artyon Savelyev case, and other instances of abuse of Russian children at the hands of their American parents. According to Russia's RiaNovosti, the new regulations specify that:

• prospective adoptive parents must undergo psychological testing
• parents may only work with accredited adoption agencies vs. independent facilitators
• Russian children will mainain dual US/Russian citizenship until age 18, at which  time they may declare permanent citizenship in either country

In an interview with NPR, Associated Press reporter David Crary highlights changes coming from the Russian side as well:

They're undertaking to be more forthcoming with details about these children's medical and psychological problems these kids have. That has not happened in the past. There's been some cover ups, and deception and kind of over-rosy pictures of these kids. So we'll see how it plays out. There still could be trouble. But on paper, at least, there's going to be a more diligent effort to be forthcoming.

Crary also points out that the new agreement demands more oversight of Russian children in their adoptive homes. Adoption agencies will be charged with carrying out the regulations, with the US government "making sure that the adoption agencies live up to their commitments to be proactive." Exactly how these new mandates will be carried out remains to be seen.

 

 

Adult Adoptee from Russia Nominated for ESPY Award

Wheelchair racing champion and adult adoptee  Tatyana McFadden has been nominated for an ESPY Award in the catagory of Best Female Athlete with a Disability. Here'e more about  McFadden, from the bio posted on her website:

By all accounts Tatyana should not be one of the top female athletes in the world. She probably should not be alive. She was born in 1988 in St. Petersburg, Russia, with an underdeveloped spinal cord resulting in paralyzation below the waist and a hole in her spine, a condition know as spina bifida. When operated on immediately, spina bifida is rarely life threatening. Tatyana was left for 21 days before doctors operated. Only her innate strength of will kept her alive.

As an unwanted disabled child, Tatyana was immediately sent to an orphanage after her surgery. She grew up in a place so poor they could not buy crayons for the children to color with let alone a wheelchair for Tatyana to get around in. Unfazed, she spent the first six years of her life using her arms as legs and walking on her hands as if the were feet.

In 1994, Debbie McFadden, working as the commissioner of disabilities for the U.S. Health Department, visited Tatyana’s orphanage on a business trip. When she met Tatyana, she immediately felt a connection with the young girl and decided to adopt her and bring her to the United States.

For Tatyana the adoption meant freedom, it meant a real family, and it meant her first wheelchair, but the excitement was short lived. When she arrived in the US she grew very sick. She was severely anemic and grossly under weight and doctors thought she would only survive a few more months. For a second time in her short life Tatyana’s innate strength would defy the odds.

To aid in her recovery Debbie began to enroll Tatyana in various youth sports groups. Tatyana began taking swimming lessons at the local pool and, a year after she arrived in the US, began participating with the Bennet Blazers, a Baltimore, Maryland area wheelchair sports organization.

No longer having to use her strength for survival, Tatyana quickly found she could use that strength to excel in athletics. She tried every sport she could find from archery, to ping-pong to basketball, but from the start she fell in love with wheelchair racing.

It did not take long for Tatyana’s racing career to take off. In 2004, at the age of 15, she was the youngest member of the USA track and field team at the Athens Paralympic Games, her first international competition. She shocked the world in the process, winning a silver medal in the 100 meters and a bronze in the 200m.

Two short years later, Tatyana etched her name in the record books, winning the gold medal in the 100m in world record time at the 2006 IPC World Championships in Assen, Netherlands. She followed that performance with two silver medal performances in the 200m and 400m, securing a spot as a “Beast” in international wheelchair racing heading in the 2008 Beijing Parlaympic Games.

Tatyana did not disappoint in Beijing, coming home with four medals, winning silver in the 200m, 400m and 800m and a bronze in the 4x100m relay.

The ESPY winner will be chosen by online poll, and voting closes July 9. You can vote for McFadden via a link on her homepage.

India Unveils Ambitious New Guidelines for Domestic and International Adoption

The Central Adoption Resource Agency (CARA), the federal body in India that oversees adoption, released new guidelines this week that could substantially improve the process for children in need. Unfortunately, anyone familiar with India's exhaustive  bureaucracy is bound to be cynical regarding this ambitious plan.

Here are some of the major changes to the program:

All applications for international adoption, whether from "foreigners" or Indians living abroad, will now be routed through CARA in New Delhi.

This seems designed to put an end to foreign adoption agencies developing direct working relationships with specific orphanages, and to ensure that domestic placements take priority. This change also prevents non-resident Indian couples from applying directly to the orphanage of their choice. All prospective parents may request a child from a particular region or express interest in a particular orphanage, but no guarantees. CARA specifically mentions that Indian couples aren't may not be matched with a child of their same linguistic or ethnic background; they must be willing to accept a child from any region in India.

Once CARA gives preliminary approval to a family, it will route the family's application to a licensed orphanage.

Greater emphasis on placing children with Indian families

Past regulations required that 50 percent of children be placed with Indian families. Now CARA says:

Preference shall be given for placing a child in in-country adoption and the ratio of in-country adoption to inter-country adoption shall be 80:20 of total adoptions
processed annually...excluding special needs children.

New local committees will scrutinize documents of parents and children, with second and final CARA clearance required before case goes to court

The old committee structure for scrutinizing documents has been thrown out and new committees will take their place. All the committee roles and acronyms get confusing, but here's the bottom line: following scrutiny at the local level, every case will go back to CARA for a final seal of approval and No-Objection Certificate (NOC) before the orphanage can file a case case in the local court. This means that every case arrives in court bearing the unequivocal approval of the federal government. 

Greater emphasis on resolving cases quickly

CARA's new rules  say "adoption of children shall be guided by  set procedures and in a time bound manner;" this is listed as a fundamental principle of the process AND the new rules encourage the courts to finalize adoptions in one hearing! Frankly, this one made my mouth drop open in shock. Here's the wording:

a. In accordance with the directions of the Honourable Supreme Court of India in L.K.Pandey vs. Union of India (WP No 1171 of 1982), the competent courts are to   dispose off the case  within a maximum period of two months  from the date of  filing. 
 
b. As each case for inter-country adoption is required to be processed by Child Welfare Committee and State Government through the [Adoption Recommendation Committee of the State Governement] and CARA, the competent court may, to the extent possible, dispose of the case in the first hearing itself in the best interest of the child.

 

India has always required adoption cases to be processed within two months, but  this rule has NEVER been followed. Our first, contested Indian adoption was tied up in the courts for MORE THAN TWO YEARS; our second, successful adoption from India took TEN MONTHS to ajudicate.

The Indian courts have always treated guardianship and adoption cases as adversarial procedures involving testimony from witnesses, cross examinations, multiple affadavits, extensive review of documents etc. This demand for in-depth testimony, the propensity for lawyers, judges and witnesses to fail to appear on any given day and extensive court holidays forcing postponements, made case resolution within two months  impossible.

With this new approach, CARA is effectively telling the courts that they should trust the seal of the federal government and sign  off. Completing adoption cases in one hearing is going to demand a major paradigm shift among all the stakeholders. Talk about your audacity of hope!

I was originally driven to start this blog by the trauma of our first, failed adoption from India, which was highjacked by local activists in the name of "human rights" or nationalistic ideology, depending on your point of view. I've never really told that story here; it's proved too complicated and painful. Let me say this, though: in CARA's new reforms I see a response to the Hyderabad adoption crisis that I experienced, even if that response comes nearly ten years after the fact. Had these rules been in place back then, I might have been able to bring my first Indian daughter home, and much suffering endured by other families and kids would've been avoided. I pray that these new rules will serve destitute children and prospective parents well in the future.

 

 

Writer Jillian Lauren to Debut One-Woman Show in Hollywood

 

When I picked up Jillian Lauren's memoir SOME GIRLS in the bookstore last fall, I had no expectations. I love reading memoirs, and I'm trying to write one too, so I simply consume as many as I can. The book's subtitle, MY LIFE IN A HAREM, promised that Lauren would answer an unusual question: How does a nice young girl from New Jersey end up a courtesan in the harem of the Sultan of Brunei? Frankly, I was surprised that what I got from her book was much more: a moving, coming-of-age tale about family, identity, femininity, and guess what? Adoption.

Lauren was adopted domestically as an infant, and her complicated feelings around adoption, identity and family are woven throughout her story. SOME GIRLS offers a glimpse into the world of high-class prostitution, but far more compelling for me was the author's eventual journey of healing that encompassed reuniting with her birth mother and later adopting a son of her own from Ethiopia.

These days, Lauren writes and blogs about the challenges that come with the "happy ending" of marriage and motherhood. If you happen to live in the LA area, you can be among the first to check out her latest creative project, an upcoming  one-woman show  at The Steve Allen Theater in Hollywood July 12 and 13. MOTHER TONGUE is described as a:

"new multi-character performance piece about blood, tribe and identity...Lauren explores the quest for a sense of belonging amidst various and often fractured cultural influences."

 

Sounds like  MOTHER TONGUE should be just as provocative and honest as her book.